


Don't you worry there, my brother

by nupoxsi



Category: 30 Seconds to Mars, Music RPF
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Sibling Incest, Sibling Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-29
Updated: 2014-03-29
Packaged: 2018-01-17 09:51:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1383073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nupoxsi/pseuds/nupoxsi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes the pressure pulls Jared down. It’s a good thing that Shannon is there to help him get on his feet again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't you worry there, my brother

**Author's Note:**

> The other day (about one month ago) I was watching Artifact and somehow I ended up having too many feels and some headcanons after finishing it. I don't know what has taken me so long to post this, but here it is.  
> This is un-beta'd, so all grammar and spelling mistakes are mine.
> 
> By no means I’m claiming the following story is real.

 

“Hey Jared, have you seen my—”

Slowly perceiving a notable sound followed by some sniffs coming from the bed, Shannon froze in place. Since earlier that day, his brother had barely left his room at all, only had come downstairs twice, and barely for about fifteen minutes, tops. Shannon had been worried, but after discussing with the guys whether to call for him or not, everyone had agreed on not to disturb Jared’s conspicuous need for isolation until he felt like reintegrating the group once again.

And Shannon is aware he should’ve kept his word, but his patience grew short after searching the set of drumsticks he’d been using that week on every corner of the house without any luck. He’d supposed Jared would know where to find them, he had a particular and desirable good memory when it came to those things. But the mission to find the drumsticks turned out to be completely unimportant when the faint sounds turned out to be soft cries that would be inaudible from a greater distance.

Now the sun was about to set, from the windowpanes the sky was turning an apoque shade of blue that resembled the colour of the duvet on Jared’s undone bed. Half his body was already inside the room, the cold knob firm in his grasp, so instead of turning on his heels and pretend he hadn’t heard anything, Shannon allowed himself to step forward and lock the door behind him the second he was inside. As he sluggishly made his way into the bedroom, what was Jared’s blurred shape slowly began to take form in his eyes. His brother was sat on the bed, knees pressed hard against his chest and head buried behind his covered arms.

“Jared?” He called him in soft voice, keeping it as low as he could but still a bit higher than Jared’s muffled sobs. “Jared, you okay?”

It wasn’t until Shannon sat carefully beside him, his hand soothingly resting on top of his upper arm, that Jared lifted his face from its hiding place. The sudden change of light contracted Jared’s pupils into tiny black dots swimming amongst a lake of the purest blue someone could have ever imagined. Shannon always found himself mesmerised by Jared’s eyes, and he never lost the opportunity to tell him how comforting they were. Whenever he felt lost and disoriented, he’d search for his brother’s eyes, letting their calmness have its effect on him just like some kind of anti-anxiety drug.

Yet now that Shannon was close enough, he realised how red his eyes truly were, tears soaking his face wet and giving his eyes a certain crystal-like effect. Shannon’s heart dropped to the ground at the way Jared had troubles whenever he tried to breathe, every inhale was as uneven as the previous one. A part of him had been expecting for Jared to break down in the last couple of tough weeks, but he always imagined himself to be there for his brother, not to find him draining his emotions alone.

“Oh, Jared…” Shannon mumbled, cupping Jared’s face in one hand. His thumb softly brushed some of the tears away, only to be replaced with warm and new ones. “Hey, has something happened?”

“I-I I am…It’s…too f-fuck… _fuck_ , Shan.”

Jared’s voice broke in the middle of every word he tried to say, the whole sentence ending up in a some indescribable sounds that only Shannon was able to understand. Yet looking at his brother so vulnerable didn’t really give him the incentive to ask him the same question again. Shannon knew him too well. Instead of pushing him for an answer, Shannon rearranged himself beside Jared and let his arms wrap around his brother’s shoulders, pulling him as close as he could.

Having Jared clutching at his black t-shirt didn’t feel foreign to him. After spending a good part of his life with together, Shannon had offered him comfort as often as he could. At times it would only take him a look at his brother to know there was something wrong, and he’d walk towards where he stood to take him in his arms. Jared would remain silent as he hugged him and he’d have a comforting smile on his face when Shannon let him go. On other occasions, it would take a little more than that. It was in those moments that he really felt like the older brother. He would never let anything get to Jared as long as he kept him in that embrace, and hell, he hoped Jared knew that.

“It’s okay, everything’s okay,” he whispered after a while against his soft and messy hair.

“F-fuck…” Jared’s words were suppressed by the fabric of Shannon’s t-shirt. “…the fucking pressure, it’s getting to me again, Shan. I feel so fucking pissed off, and so tired.”

“I know you do. You shouldn’t keep pushing yourself too far.”

“I wish there was a way to make it all better.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” Shannon reassured him, rubbing his hands on Jared’s back in small circles. “I know the heavy burden you’re carrying on your shoulders, Jared, but trust me when I say you can rely on me.”

In between low cries, Jared actually chuckled hoarsely. “Yes, I know I can. You’re always are here even if I don’t deserve to have you.”

“Shush your pretty mouth,” Shannon joked a bit, poking at his side, only to see if he could get some more laughter from his younger brother. It’d been quite a while since he’d seen a pure smile on Jared’s face, in the past few weeks he’d only catch a glimpse of a grin when he caught his brother on the piano alone. Those grins weren’t meant for him, Shannon was aware of that, but he treasured them and felt somehow relieved that Jared was always able to find joy in his music. “You know that isn’t true, if someone doesn’t deserve someone in here, it’s me. So as long as you want me by your side, I’ll be here.”

Shannon let his arms slow down Jared’s back until they fell to his sides, allowing his fingertips to ghost over Jared’s hips and tummy before he let go. As Jared  started to let go of his torso, Shannon noticed how in just a few minutes his shirt had gotten soaking wet by Jared’s tears, and he felt an ache in his heart as he took a glimpse at those blue eyes to see how tears still crowded his face.

“I’ll always want you to be here.”

“I know, who wouldn’t want me around,” Shannon joked, gaining a chuckle from his brother.

“Someone out of their mind, that’s who,” he replied with a soft voice as he wiped some of the tears away. Shannon reached to wipe a few himself, loving the way Jared relaxed under his touch as he did so. “Shan, there are just so many things in my head right now.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really…”

Jared breathed in, dropping his gaze to the mess of blankets and some pillows at the end of the mattress. In between thoughts, Shannon couldn’t help but relive some memories of when they were younger, of the great amount of times Jared would look away when he wanted to talk about something but was too startled or frightened to do so. Shannon let go of his face to hold one of Jared’s hands on his own, cold skin that he’d take the hassle to warm up, thumb rubbing small circles on the back of his hand.

“You sure about that?”

Silence.

“Jared?”

“No, I’m not,” Jared mumbled as their eyes locked together again. “But you know what’s going on already, Shan. And I don’t know, it’s just that sometimes I feel the pressure on me and it’s too much, it fucking asphyxiates me— suffocates me to the point I know that not even shouting at the top of my lungs will be able to help me liberate some stress. These days are just… I feel so fucking afraid of what my choices could lead us to, perhaps I’m fucking everything up without realising it. It doesn’t just concern me, it’s so much more than that. Fuck.”

There were so many things he could say that he found himself speechless. The way Jared spat the last words, the unsteady tremble in his voice as he spoke made Shannon act before think. Slowly, he leaned in to press his lips over Jared’s and take them into a soft kiss.

Every time Shannon got the chance to remind Jared how talented he was, he took it without thinking it twice. The problem with saying those thing often was that sometimes Shannon was scared Jared would think he only said them to make him feel better, or out of pity. Shannon was so proud of him, so thankful for being able to share all those moments by his side, he felt there were not enough words to describe how much he loved and cared for Jared. So, before saying any words, he decided to show him how much he meant them.

“You’re not, Jared,” he said, letting his fingertips caress his cheek and travel all along his bearded jawline when they broke apart. Once their eyes met, Shannon was able to appreciate the sadness traced in the blue irises was still there, in less proportion, but still there. “We’ve gotten to where we are because of you. I’m not saying that we haven’t stumbled into a few rocks on our way here, but that’s how life is going to be, isn’t it? The path we need to take to reach where we want to be will always be troublesome, the trick is not letting those obstacles bring us down. You’ve always made sure to pull me up on my feet after falling down, Jared, and you can take for granted I’m going to do the same thing for you.”

After saying those words, they fell into a comfortable silence. Jared's  eyes were set on him, and despite a small smile drawing on his face, some teardrops were dripping down his cheeks. Shannon couldn’t help but to wipe them away, even if he knew there were more to come.

“I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“It’s gonna be okay, Jared,” he whispered as he looped his arms around his brother’s shoulders again, pulling him into him. “I’ve got you.”

The weak sound of Jared’s chuckles made his heart beat faster.They probably meant little, but they were the sweetest sound compared to the muffled sobs he’d heard before. Shannon tightened his arms around his brother and pressed small kisses on the side of his neck before he pushed both their bodies to a side and made the two of them fall against soft, fluffy pillows.

“I don’t know if you remember, but you used to say that a long when we were just kids,” Jared commented, burying his face on the crook of Shannon’s neck. His breath was warm against his sensitive skin, and his beard scratched his neck as he spoke. “I’d crawl into your bed and you’d hold me and say those same words. _I’ve got you_.”

Shannon’s lips curved into a smile at the memory. “Of course I remember. You’d wake me in the middle of night and then you’d fall asleep a few minute later, and it would take me hours and hours to fall asleep again.”

“You’re a terrible liar, did you know that?” Jared joked. “I could tell you fell asleep no much later than I did.”

“Oh, really? And pray tell, brother, how could you?”

“Your arms. At first you would wrap them so hard around me that I could barely move, but after a while you’d loosen up the grip a little. Your heart also pumps slower as you sleep.”

“Good point,” he reasoned.

“Also, it didn’t seem to bother you much, you never pushed me away.”

“I’d never push you away,” Shannon corrected him, placing a peck on one of his brother’s cheeks. “You know that.”

“I do.”

They kept like that for a while, until Shannon was certain his brother had stopped crying. The bedroom turned darker as the minutes passed by, and with no light turned on everything that wasn’t Jared turned into a blurred grey mass. Once Jared’s breathing steadied, Shannon let go of his slender body, and they prompted themselves up into a sitting position. Shannon tried to fix Jared’s hair a bit to kept it from hiding his eyes as his brother wiped his soaked face with the sleeve of his sweater. Despite everything, he still looked so vulnerable and fragile Shannon was about to suggest it’d be good if he went to sleep already, even if the night had just fell, or at least laid in bed for the rest of the day. As if reading his mind, Jared was already stretching his legs and wrapping the blue duvet around himself.

“Stay?”

Jared’s voice broke the silence of the room as well as any intention of walking out, and he reached over to grab Shannon’s wrist. The darkness was so that it took a few seconds for Shannon to detail some of his brother’s features in the dim atmosphere, but as soon as their eyes locked, there was no way he’d be able to deny whatever Jared could ask for. His brother scooped over to the middle of the bed, making some room for Shannon to lay beside him.

“Okay.”

He settled in beside Jared, and as his brother rolled on his side, Shannon took the hint to press against his back, burying his face in Jared’s hair, jaw fitting perfectly on the curve of his shoulder. He placed small kisses on Jared’s skin, and smiled at the way Jared’s hand found his to twine their fingers together. All Shannon wanted was to see his brother happy, and he’d try as hard as he could to help him release the stress. They kept silent for several minutes, just relaxing in each other’s presence.

“Do you want me to stay here for the night?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t you think the guys will—”

“It’s not as if Tomo doesn’t know, Shan.”

“I’m not talking about Tomo—”

“Yes, I know.” Jared shifted in his heavy arms to face him. “I know you are not talking about Tomo, but I want you to stay in here tonight.”

“And I’m here, I won’t go.” Shannon tightened the embrace, pulling Jared as close as he could. The tip of their noses were brushing, and he could feel his warm breath over his own. “I simply didn’t want you having something else to worry about.”

Jared smiled at him for what seemed to be the first time that night, and when he closed the distance to peck his mouth, he welcomed him kindly. “I don’t.”

“Good thing, then,” Shannon said, his hand moving from Jared’s back to wrap around his waist. “Because I’m not changing my mind now.”

Jared was smiling again when Shannon closed the distance once more, taking his brother’s lips between his own. It was soft and slow, their lips moved together at Jared wanted them to, there was some need in every movement he took, in every, the messy beard scratching his recently shaved jaw. Shannon kissed him until he possibly couldn’t keep on doing it, breathlessly breaking apart to take a look at the puffy pink lips and the so well known blush cover Jared’s face. He leant in to press a few kisses on Jared’s cheeks and nose, and one last peck on his lips.

“I know you know,” he whispered over his lips, “but I love you, and we’ll get through this, I trust you.”

“Yeah.” Jared didn’t waste time to meet his lips again. It was merely a flash than a proper kiss, but Shannon didn’t protest, not when Jared buried his head and he was able to feel his brother’s small smile pressed against his collarbone. “I fucking love you,” he whispered, lips ghosting over his skin.

They fell asleep tangled in each other’s limbs, listening to the serene rhythm of each other’s breathings.

Shannon got him, just like he’d been doing over the years.


End file.
